A Bit More optimistic

Thanks to H0kie Erin for the kind words on the last post. I know it's not just me, and that makes me even more frustrated sometimes. I know there are so many excellent potential teachers out there, but due to limited options, they can't achieve that dream.

I'm still mulling over what I plan to do. Don't count me out completely. I've sent off for some transcripts, and I can't do anything, really, until they get here.

I just want to give up.

I'm just pissed off at a lot of things right now.

One issue has been my future plans to teach. Basically, unless I'm best buddies with someone in a helpful position, I'm going to have to go back to college for 2 years to get certified.

Which wouldn't be horrible. Except for the fact that I know what's going to happen with any Tennessee college. They're going to take one look at my transcript from a Kentucky college and say:

Well, you'll have to take all these certification classes...and, oh yes, this class and that one, and oh, all 10 of those classes don't convert to anything that will help you, so you'll have to take these other classes as well...

why Why WHY?!? Why should it take me practically getting a second bachelor's degree to teach in the field I received my FIRST bachelor's degree in? Why can't they have a fast-track for people in this type of situation? People who teach business technology can fit their classes in four years of school. Why should it have to take me eight, when I only need teacher education classes?
Why is it such a long and tedious road for me to take a test and get a little piece of paper, when there are people teaching classes who ARE certified, but they aren't certified in that field?

I'm so disgusted at this point, that I'm ready to just throw up my hands and quit. We do not have the money for four more years of college at MTSU or Tenn. State. We do not have the money for 2 years of (now) out of state tuition at Western.

Some people would say, well, if that's what you want to do, you'd find a way to do it. You apparently haven't been reading for very long. So many other issues are involved, like finances and time and infertility and fat and new house/new town and, just, AHHHHH!

Like some of you care. People have to suck it up and make sacrifices all the time, so what makes me so special? Well, you're right. That's why I'm going to start sending off the resumes and finding a computer job.

Because I'm tired. I'm sick of wondering what I should do next, and not getting any answers. I wasn't looking for shortcuts; I just thought there might be a more efficient way to let me become a teacher. And I realize that I just need to quit whining and do something.

Even becoming a substitute is doubtful. Yes I enjoyed it, but apparently there's a whole different set of hoops to jump through here to become well, as well as lower pay. Pay is really not the issue, though; subbing while knowing that I won't ever become a full-time teacher would depress me even more. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with subbing. I loved doing it, and wanted to help others as well. For me, though, it was just a middle ground to eventually having my own class.

If you have suggestions, by all means, offer them (as long as they're helpful and not hurtful, of course). I feel as if I'm at a dead end.

Sorry I've Vanished

A lot has been happening in my life the past few months.

I was enrolled at WKU and starting my first teacher certification classes when my husband was offered a job in Nashville, TN. With selling the house and moving, and our lack of finances, I made the decision to drop my classes and get a tuition refund.

Right now I'm packing up for the big move. I'm not subbing or anything right now because of everything else going on.

It's kind of a weird, hanging in limbo feeling that I have. I'm not really sure where I'm going next. I need to work to help with the bigger house payment we're going to have, but I don't know if I'll be subbing again, or if I'll be able to qualify for the "fast track" option that they have in TN for computer and math teachers. I may be able to do neither and wind up working as a receptionist or something, if I can't get consistent work.

I miss subbing, and I'm disappointed I had to put my dream on hold. But I've wanted this move for a long time, so I can be closer to my family. If it means waiting a bit longer to become a teacher, then so be it.

I'm still going to keep this blog up, because I know that I'll soon be back to subbing at least, and I'll hopefully have more stories and help for all of you first-time substitute teachers.

A Quick Summer Update

Here's an update on what's been going on so far this summer:

• I applied for the teaching job and...nada. Did not even get an interview. Pissed me off royally that they were all like, "Well, we'll still take your application seriously, but we have to go with some certified if they are more qualified" yadda yadda yadda...but I honestly think they just tossed it in the trash along with those reference letters I worked my ASS off to get. Le sigh. I'm sure it's someone certified to teach some other subject, but barely knows how to turn a computer on. But hey, he or she is *certified.* certifiable nuts, I say.
• The school district I grew up in is practially begging people to teach because they had a third of their teachers move and/or retire this year. But my husband and I are trying to get pregnant, and I'm just not comfortable with jumping into a job, then saying I have to take maternity leave within my first year there. So I'm in a way grateful I did not get the other job I applied for.
• I finally, FINALLY am able to log onto my Psychology 100 correspondence study course, almost 2 months after paying for the damn thing. I've went through half the course in almost two weeks, and hope to finish up right around the time my Desktop Publishing class starts up in July. Then it's a full 18 hour course load come the end of August.
• Above mentioned pregnancy could also put a damper on my education plans for spring (depending of course on how quickly I get preggers). I have no nearby family or friends to help out, and I will have to commute 2 days a week possibly if we can't move closer to my school by then. Trying not to worry about it until spring registration rolls around, but I still think about it.
• I am HATING my house right now. Horrible air-conditioning, a constant barrage of ants that even a nuke wouldn't kill off, and a neighborhood that's getting worse by the day is making me cuckoo bananas. I am tired of living so far from my family, and I do not want to raise my yet unconceived child so far away from his/her grandparents. I am not getting stuck in a hot house with a screaming child, being chased by ants while my cats look on laughing, and wondering when the inevitable break-in of my home will occur. I want out of here now!
• The fertility medicine I'm taking, Clomid, is making me as mean as a viper, cry a river, and whine and cling like a kid with separation anxiety issues. And that's only in the first few hours after I take it!!! Can't you tell?
  
• Stuff around the house needs to be done, events are coming up that I don't want to deal with, work issues are plaguing my husband, and life just sucks more than a little bit right now.

Hope your summer is going well! At least better than mine...

So did I actually apply for that job?

I sent in my resume, transcript, and filled out some kind of teacher insight questionnare by Gallup. Now I'm trying to track down 3 people who will write me recommendation letters. I know, I know, I should've realized this was coming, but I honestly didn't think about it until they mentioned it.

The recommendation letters are really becoming more of a hassle than they are worth. Look, I know that I've worked hard at every job and computer or business class I've had. I hope I don't sound too confident, but I've always been told I did great at all the IT internships I've had. So why is it so hard to get one of these people to write me a recommendation letter that talks about my skills and abilities when it comes to computers? I have tried contacting 5 people, and only ONE is actually in the process of writing me a letter. The rest are former professors and supervisors who seem to have forgotten how phone and email work.

This is really starting to stress me out. For one thing, I always feel like I'm just as bad as a telemarketer when I call these people. I know that shouldn't be the case and it's not like I call these people all the time asking for reference letters. This is probably the first time I've contacted most of them about something like this.

I've already been told that if someone accepts the position, and has certification, that he or she would have to be chosen over me since I don't have certification. That's fine and I can accept that. But if I can't even stay in the running because I can't pull together 2 more recommendation letters, well, that's just going to really piss me off.